**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
