What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
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You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize