You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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