can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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