You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
