I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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