yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
