It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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