just tell him i said nine months
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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