I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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