you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
