halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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