i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
