the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Quick, to the slutcave!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
