What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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