Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize