I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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