i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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