I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
