Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
