I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
