I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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