I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize