Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Everything about him screamed your future.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
