Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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