what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
