she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
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I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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