Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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