I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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