The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
