He is such a slut. More and more my type.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
