No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
please come you make the beer taste better
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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