If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize