a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
