She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I will pee on everything he values.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
