PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
