im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
