Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize