Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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