If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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