i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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