Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
