My liver just broke up with me...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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