This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My liver just had a heart attack.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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