Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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