You're my little dorito
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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