my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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