no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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