We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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