I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
