Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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