remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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