i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
