Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
